Friday, November 03, 2006

A Theist Joke

I thought I'd lighten things up with a little joke. I found this on James Randi's weekly newsletter web site SWIFT. Mr. Randi got it from American Atheist Magazine. Enjoy.

I stole this directly from the September issue of American Atheist – I added a touch or two of my own…

Q: How many Theists does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1. Their hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray for protection against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterian: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only. Put a little something in the box.

Baptist: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken next Sunday.

Episcopalian: 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon: 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it properly.

Unitarian: ? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted – all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodist: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass around.

Scientologist: Tom Cruise. We may get lucky and he’ll fall off the ladder, or will be kidnapped by Xenu.

Nazarene: 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutheran: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

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