A friend over at the excellent blog NO GODZ has written a post about this silly phenomenon, and I hope he doesn't mind if I repost it here. I thought it was pretty good. Here is what Mark had to say:
When conversing to a Christian about religious beliefs, I have found out many times that when I have disclosed my atheism, they immediately feel the need to announce their wishes for me to reconsider or change.
Many people of the Christian faith seem to always find a reason to pray for atheists. They always seem to find it necessary to tell others that they are praying for them. Some find it necessary to tell you that they are performing this ritual for you, using the all too familiar term, “I’ll pray for you”. Some even ignore our requests that they don’t.
Why do many Christians feel the need to tell us that they are praying for us? Will the magic not happen if the prayer is undisclosed? In the New Testament, Christ himself gave this instruction of prayer, but yet many choose to ignore this.
Many people of the Christian faith seem to always find a reason to pray for atheists. They always seem to find it necessary to tell others that they are praying for them. Some find it necessary to tell you that they are performing this ritual for you, using the all too familiar term, “I’ll pray for you”. Some even ignore our requests that they don’t.
Why do many Christians feel the need to tell us that they are praying for us? Will the magic not happen if the prayer is undisclosed? In the New Testament, Christ himself gave this instruction of prayer, but yet many choose to ignore this.
Matthew 6:5-6:
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6) But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
What is their motive behind their disclosure of praying for you? I’ve found that the term, “I’ll pray for you” when used has different meanings and is usually a substitute or alternative for:
- “I wish you were like me” (when confronted with opposing views of Christianity).
- “I’m saying this out of habit” (because you can never pray too much).
- “I’m better than you and you need to conform to my interpretation of a deity” (when debating a non-Christian).
- “I’m doing this because I don’t understand science” (when praying for the sick).
- “You’re going to Hell” (the less eloquent term).
If a Christian cannot muster enough faith for an actual healing of their own illnesses, then how is their prayer for my conversion even possible?
Thanks Ted!
ReplyDeleteYou can reblog my posts anytime!
There's a sixth substitute or alternative for "I'll pray for you":
ReplyDeleteYour condition is so beyond my personal power and ability to help, and yet my concern for you is so great, I'm calling on the greatest source of power and love that I believe in to intervene on your behalf.
Christopher Hitchens, although himself an atheist, was gracious enough to acknowledge the sincerity of those who prayed for his recovery from esophageal cancer without compromising his own beliefs about God.
Last August, the Chicago Sun-Times reported that "Hitchens told evangelical broadcaster Hugh Hewitt that he remains convinced these prayers 'don't do any good, but they don't necessarily do any harm. It's touching to be thought of in that way.'"
Which is at least part of why I often say that Chrisopher Hitchens is my favorite atheist.
It's a little like when I was in Germany and I received word that my father had died. Two French-Canadian friends of mine, neither of whom spoke very good English, came to my room to offer their condolences. They both looked at me with incredible sympathy in their eyes, and one of them said, "We don't know the words."
ReplyDeleteI could have cynically parsed his awkward use of English, or even ridiculed him ("Well then, just hum the melody!"), but I accepted their heartfelt expression in the spirit it was given.
No, CT. It's nothing like that at all.
ReplyDelete"Silly"? "Demented"?
ReplyDeleteHow would you characterize that type of reaction to someone's most deeply held beliefs?
It's not a characterization of their "most deeply held beliefs", but a characterization of their misguided attempt to involve an avowed atheist in those beliefs.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I admire most about Christopher Hitchens is his ability to empathize with people of faith while still holding on to his own atheistic convictions.
ReplyDeleteIf, like Hitchens, you could put yourself in the shoes of the person who sincerely says, "I'll pray for you," and realize that even though this means nothing to you, it is motivated by compassion, perhaps you could also find it "touching to be thought of in that way," rather than merely feeling put upon.
Come on, CT. Do you really find it "touching" when people tell you that you are wrong? And the passive-agressive phrase "I'll pray for you" is nothing more than that when said to an atheist.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a difference between a sympathy "I'll pray for you", heard when someone has a death or illness in the family, which is heartfelt and touching and may be the stock answer because said person doesn't know what else to say (Chris Hitchens). On the other hand, "I'll pray for you" as a response when someone doesn't like the idealogy or beliefs of another is a One-Up-I'm Good-You're Flawed structure. It's not only morally offensive but the person saying it cannot expect gratitude for being supercilious and acting, laughably, falsely, superior.
ReplyDelete