Ann Romney A "Stay-At-Home Mom" ?

The other day, Democratic strategist Hillary Rosen noted that the wife of Willard Mitt Romney had never worked a day in her life. The statement was made to counter Romney's assertion that he knew what the women of America want because his wife tells him. The point of Rosen's statement was that by virtue of her great wealth, millions in income each year, multiple homes and cars, and never having to have had to work a day in her life, Ann Romney is not like the average woman and probably has no conception of what life is like for the millions of ordinary American women. It was a valid point.

But the statement, true as it is, has upset the right-wingers in America, so they have used the statement to manufacture a controversy. They are claiming that Rosen's statement was a slam against the many stay-at-home moms in America. There inference, of course, is that Ann Romney is just like all the other stay-at-home moms in America (in spite of the fact that none of those other women have many millions of dollars, multiple mansions and cars, numerous servants and nannies, and a hobby, dressage, that requires many thousands of dollars to engage in). Outside of her gender, Ann Romney has nothing in common with other American women.

The idea becomes even more ludicrous when you consider a statement from Willard Mitt Romney back in January. He did not believe then that poor women (on welfare) had enough to do by being "stay-at-home moms". He wanted them to go to work in addition to raising their children. He said:

“I wanted to increase the work requirement. I said, for instance, that even if you have a child 2 years of age, you need to go to work. And people said, ‘Well that’s heartless.’ And I said, ‘No, no, I’m willing to spend more giving day care to allow those parents to go back to work. It’ll cost the state more providing that daycare, but I want the individuals to have the dignity of work.”

Note that his own wife did not need the "dignity of work", only poor women. It was enough that his wife stay home and raise their children (with the help of numerous servants and nannies), but poor women (who must do all the child-raising themselves) needed the extra work of a full-time job. Obviously, Romney is as out of touch with ordinary Americans as his wife is.

I think The Rude Pundit probably sums up this whole right-wing manufactured controversy as well as anyone. His language may be rather raw, but his thoughts are right on target. Here is what he says:


Rosen didn't say a goddamned thing that was wrong when she offered that Ann Romney "has actually never worked a day in her life."

Ann Romney has lived a privileged, pampered life and she has done nothing that anyone would associate with a "job," and that includes her stay-at-home mothering, readily assisted by nannies and servants. She has a degree in French from Harvard and her major activity is dressage (which, apparently, is some fancy horse thing involving riding crops and jodhpurs and jaunty hats). Rosen was addressing Mitt Romney's remark that he listens to Ann on economic issues affecting women. Mitt Romney getting advice on the economy from his wife is like him getting foreign policy advice from Seamus, the roof-riding family dog. (Although, if you think about it, "Shit yourself until someone hoses you off" isn't bad advice for a nation.)

Are we really doing this again? Are we really having some worthless fucking debate over how hard it is to be a stay-at-home parent? President Obama said, "There's no tougher job than being a mom." Really? Ask a coal miner. Ask a sweatshop worker. It's fucking stupid. Are we just back to Hillary Clinton and the motherfucking cookies? Oh, wait, Michelle Malkin's quoting that 1992 remark, so the Rude Pundit supposes that we are.

The Rude Pundit's sick of bowing down at the altar of the homemaker. Sure, sure, it's hard work raising children. Ask the people who run day care centers and preschools. It's hard work whether you work a full-time job or not. But let's be honest here: Choosing to be a stay-at-home parent (and that includes the increasing number of dads that do it) for the last generation or so is a bourgeois indulgence that's primarily available to the financiallyprivileged. Even those who "sacrifice" to stay home with the kids get to do so only because they have an amount of security that's simply not available to the vast majority of Americans (and let's leave out the long-term unemployed who have decided, "Well, fuck it. May as well stay home"). It's a choice that's available only to a select minority of the people of this country that does so little to actually help parents.

In fact, in the history of post-industrialized America, the June Cleaver/Carol Brady stay-at-home mom is one of those sucker dreams that most families could never achieve. Women worked. Just not the women you ever saw in pop culture. Most working class couples had two incomes because that's how the fuck you survived. Shit, the Rude Pundit knows at least two stay-at-home moms whose husbands lost their great jobs and then got shitty new jobs, so the stay-at-home status had to end as they got shitty jobs to make ends meet and have something like health insurance. His own mother worked full-time, but she was at every event and cooked every night. This whole bullshit "debate" debases her efforts to make our lives easier by working a job. She was, in this way, a great deal like Hilary Rosen, a working parent herself.

But, you know, sure, raising kids is work, a lot of work, constant work. That's something we can't deny. Still, it's work that parents chose to do by having children, so, you know, don't fucking complain. And when someone says it's not a job, suck it up. It's not a fucking job. It's a privilege, one that millions of parents would love to be able to have but can't because they don't have the means of Ann Romney.

Update: The Rude Pundit would be remiss if he didn't clarify one thing. Some parents stay home with the kids because of the ludicrous price of childcare. If it costs more to have the kids in day care than one makes, then what's the point? He was referring to this when he said that our government doesn't help out parents. Remember the debate in the 1970s and 80s over government-run day care? Yeah, now, we can all go fuck ourselves with that socialist indoctrination program. It shall not even be mentioned.