"Emperor" Obama Renames Highest Mountain In U.S.

President Obama has changed the name of America's highest peak -- from Mt. McKinley to Denali (the original name given the mountain by Native Americans). Some people like this, and some don't (especially Ohio Republicans). But the funniest piece I have read about this comes from Evan Hurst at Wonkette's blog. He has written a hilarious post, and I urge you to read the whole thing. Here is a part of it:

Emperor Obama has issued another fatwa, and this time it is about how it’s no longer okay for North America’s highest peak, which is located right in the middle of Ohio in Alaska, to be named after President William McKinley, but rather, it should be given a funny foreign Alaskan name, “Denali.” This is obvious government overreach, as all mountains got their names directly from Jesus, when they were formed, and He wanted this one to be named after a U.S. president. You have questions, we have answers.

Why is the tyrant president doing this???

Okay, so fun fact. The mountain was named “Mt. McKinley” in 1896 by a prospector, and the U.S. American government officially recognized the name in 1917. But, studies show that the mountain actually existed before 1896! And native Alaskans (the real kind, not the Palin kind) had called it Denali for YEARS, long before they were forced to call it some white guy’s name. In fact, they used that name both for the 20,237-foot summit of the mountain (according to Alaska the 20,320 number is wrong), and also for the mountain’s slightly shorter BFF, which is currently called Mt. Foraker. Alaska formally removed the white American president’s name from the mountain in 1975, but the federal government (read: FUCKING CONGRESS) wouldn’t change it, because they didn’t want to make Ohio cry.

Who mad about it?

Ohio Republicans. Yes, you see, McKinley was from Ohio (and so was Sen. “Foraker,” so COMIN’ FOR YOU NEXT, probably), and, though most Ohioans will never visit Alaska, and many couldn’t pick it out on a map, it apparently is very important to them for this one mountain to be named after a president. They could, of course, name something in Ohio after McKinley — like maybe that giant Touchdown Jesus statue they have — but boo hoo and waaaaaaaah, that’s not good enough. They have to have their special mountain in Alaska, just like every other state doesn’t have.

. . .

This is probably just the beginning, isn’t it?

Almost certainly. Obama thinks all our Americas are belong to him, so we can expect many other beloved landmarks and red states to get new names before the president leaves office (IF HE EVEN LEAVES).

Possible ideas: the Rockies could be renamed “William Ayers Is My Boyfriend In A Gay Way,” the Appalachians could be renamed “Socialism Is My Favorite, Also In A Gay Way,” and Texas will, of course be renamed “ISIS,” like that wasn’t already happening anyway, duh.