I know you think I’m preoccupied with this President; thatheis the reason I’m so angry and bitter and frustrated these days—but you’re wrong.
This isn’t about Donald Trump.
It’s never been about him.
It wasn’t about him during the campaign or on Election Day.It wasn’t about him when recordings of him boasting about sexual assaults surfaced.It wasn’t about him when he said protestors at campaign rallies should be roughed up.It wasn’t about him when he left refugee families stranded at the airport.It wasn’t about him when he attacked the Press.It wasn’t about him when he sabotaged the Affordable Care Act.It wasn’t about him when he blamed racial violence on “both sides.”
And it isn’t about him today: it’s aboutus.
This is aboutmeand it’s aboutyou.
It’s about my grief at the ugliness you feel emboldened to post on social media now, the nastiness you seem newly capable of, the disgusting words you now so easily toss out around the dinner table.
It’s about my disbelief at your sudden tolerance for his infidelity, his cruelty, his intellectual ignorance, his disrespect for the rule of law—things you once claimed you could never abide.
It’s about my incredulity at your surprising resentment for marginalized people; for your inability to muster any compassion for those who are hurting or frightened or threatened.
It’s about my disappointment at your easily manipulated nationalistic fervor; how theGod and Guns, America First, Love it or Leave itrhetoric, so easily took root in your heart—how hostile to outsiders and foreigners you’ve become.
It’s about my amazement at your capacity to make your faith so pliable, that you could amen a compulsive liar, a serial adulterer, a fear-mongering bully; a man in nearly every way antithetical to the Jesus you’ve always said was so dear to you.
It’s about my sickness seeing you excuse away his coddling of racists, his public attacks on the FBI, his impulsive firings of Cabinet members, his Tweet rants against individual citizens and American companies.
It’s about my grief seeing you respond to his near-hourly display of recklessness and overreach, with a shrug of your shoulders or a turning away from it all.
It’s about me watching you ignore in him and even celebrate in him, the very things youclaimedmade Hillary Clinton the ‘greater of two evils’ when you voted: blatant corruption, financial impropriety, pathological lies, lack of morality.
It’s about my sadness at seeing you make a million tiny concessions—and how easy it now is for you to sanction actions, that only two years ago you’d have told me fully disgusted you.
Most of all, it’s about me realizing that when all this is over—weare still going to have to deal with all of this.Our fractures are going to outlive this Presidency.
You see, I reallydon’tgive a damn about Donald Trump.
He doesn’t matter to me.He never has.
He’s a three-time married, C-level reality TV celebrity, with a long and well-documented resume of sexual misconduct, financial disasters, and moral filth.He’s a professional predator who’s spent his life exploiting people for personal gain.That’s who he was before and who he will be when he leaves office.
Donald Trump, the President will be gone one day, and his disastrous Presidency will be well preserved.History will have documented his every lie, every misdeed, every abuse of power, every treasonous betrayal—and he will be fully revealed as the monster that many of us are fully aware that he is.
That’s not why I am so disgusted and so filled with sadness these days.
I don’t care about Donald Trump because I don’t know or live alongside or love or respect Donald Trump.
I know and live alongside and love and respectyou—or at least I once did, and I’m going to have to try and do that again.
Our relationship and our family and our church and our neighborhood and our nation are going to be trying to clean up the messes long after this President is gone.
When this is all over, the divides and the fractures and the wounds between us are going to remain.
This is why I’m angry and bitter and frustrated; not because of Donald Trump—but because of me—and because of you.