A Tongue-In-Cheek List For Meat-Eaters

CNN's daily column called 5@5 had a humorous list yesterday called "Five Reasons Not To Be A Vegetarian".   It was written by Fort Worth's own chef celebrity Tim Love (who owns the Stockyard's eatery called The Lonesome Dove Western Bistro).   Here are his five humorous reasons to eat meat:

1. "Because meat tastes better than vegetables. Period. There are fantastic chefs like Jeremy Fox and José Andrés who have done amazing things with vegetables and even made me consider going vegetarian for a split second. But then I took a shot of tequila and came to my senses. I mean, really, which would you rather have - a grilled Texas ribeye, or a piece of squash? Which just made your mouth water?"

2. "Because when you walk into a steakhouse, you never hear anyone say 'wow, doesn’t that creamed spinach smell great?' Unless, of course, the spinach is made with bacon."

3. "Imagine a restaurant full of preachy vegetarians. Enough said. I’m kidding, of course. Some of my best friends are vegetarians, but even they have a tendency to be a little on the holier-than-thou side. If I want to eat meat, let me eat it in peace. Nobody is forcing you to be a vegetarian, so why are you trying to force us?"

4. "Eating vegetarian may seem like the healthier option (and, probably, often is), but when it comes down to it, meat, in moderation, provides much needed protein, iron and amino acids. As long as you don’t go overboard and eat one of those 15-pound burgers you see on TV, you should be fine."

5. "Because you’d get a lot of funny looks if you tried roasting a pumpkin at a tailgate instead of a pig."

As an omnivore I have my own five reasons.   My list is straight to the point.   Would life even be worth living without:

1. Chicken-fried steak (pictured)
2. Barbeque
3. Bacon
4. Fried chicken
5. Hamburgers

I don't think I could even work up a desire to give up those wonderful culinary treats.