There's Never Justification For Domestic Violence

October is half over and I just learned by reading a friend's blog that this is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.   That embarrasses me because I find few things as evil and damaging to human beings (and humanity in general) as domestic violence.   And this evil is not limited to any class or group of people.   It occurs among all races and ethnicities, among all income groups.   It is no respecter of religion (or the lack of it), and it has victims of both sexes, all ages and regardless of sexual preferences.

It is believed that domestic violence (abuse) affects at least 10% of the population of the United States.   That's about 31 million people in this country alone, and the problem is certainly not restricted to any one country.   It is a worldwide problem.

Domestic violence also comes in many forms -- physical violence, dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, denial and blame.   The violence can be physical, verbal, emotional or economic.   But one thing we can be sure of is that all forms of domestic violence has one purpose -- to get and keep total control over a victim.   That is inexcusable.   We are all here on this Earth for a limited time and should not have to submit to unwanted control by any other human.

There are a couple of things about abuse I have never been able to believe.   The first is that the abuser couldn't help him or her self.   Nonsense!   If you really can't restrain yourself from beating or abusing your fellow humans, especially those you profess to love, then you should be locked away for everyone's good.   The second is that the abuser didn't mean it and really loves the victim.   Utter nonsense!   How do you abuse another person without meaning to do so?   And no one abuses or hurts someone they really care for.

There are some red flags that can identify a person who is or will be an abuser.   If your domestic partner exhibits one or more of these, I suggest you get out before it escalates and someone gets hurt (or killed).   These are:

INTRUSION -- constantly asks where you are going, who you are with, etc.

ISOLATION -- demands that all (or most) of your time must be spent with him/her, cutting you off from friends and family.

POSSESSION AND JEALOUSY -- accuses you of flirting or having relationships with others, constantly monitors the way you dress or look.

NEED FOR CONTROL -- becomes extremely angry when things do not go his/her way, tries to make all of your decisions.

UNKNOWN PASTS / NO RESPECT FOR OTHERS -- very secretive about the past, has only negative things to say about others.

The excellent blog My Name Is Jujube has a list of 20 other danger signals.   I recommend you go there and peruse that list.   It could keep you from becoming a victim.

Regardless of your age, race, ethnicity, class, income level, place of residence, sex, or sexual preference, you have the right to expect your domestic partner or significant other to treat you with love and respect.   There is never a justification for domestic abuse/violence, and the very act of searching for such justification puts a person on the wrong side of this issue.

Domestic violence is an epidemic this country and the world could certainly do without.   It can be eliminated, but it will take an effort from all of us.