Not A Reason, Just A Pathetic Excuse

There are some scientific and sociological studies that give us insight into mankind and behavior, and give us guidance toward not only bettering our own lives but also the betterment of our species. Then there are those that make one wonder why they were even done because the only thing they seem to provide is an excuse for bad behavior. For me, this post is about a study falling into the latter category.

Sociologist Christin Munsch of Cornell University revealed some research she had done to her colleagues at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association. Her research was on why men engage in extra-marital affairs, and her "earth-shattering" conclusion was that a major reason why men stray from their marriage vows is because their wife has a larger paycheck.

She said a man's spouse having a larger paycheck somehow hurts their manhood and they have an extra-marital affair to "restore their battered sense of manhood". Munsch said, "Sexual encounters, particularly with multiple women, are a defining feature of hegemonic masculinity."

What a load of unadulterated horse manure! Frankly any man that has to violate his marriage vows with extra-marital sex just because his wife has a larger paycheck than he does, didn't have much manhood to begin with and it is extremely doubtful that and having an affair (or even a one-night stand) is unlikely to do anything to improve that lack of "manliness".

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I can't see how breaking a solemn promise a man has made to his spouse and to himself can possibly make him feel more like a man. And that's just what marriage vows are -- a solemn promise to your mate and to yourself (and your god if you're religious). Is it even possible for a man to feel more like a man after breaking such an important promise?

In the world I grew up in a man was judged by how well he kept his word (his promises). This was illuminated by the saying, "My word is my bond". A man gained respect by always keeping his promises (even without a written contract) and lost respect by failing to live up to his promises. This is true even if that man is the only one who knows he fails to keep his word (since a loss of self-respect should be as devastating as a loss of respect from others).

A sexual conquest is a very poor substitute for a loss of honor and respect. It does nothing to restore wounded manhood -- just the opposite. Extra-marital sex because a spouse has a larger paycheck is not a reason for the infidelity, but just a pathetic excuse. A real man doesn't need this kind of pathetic excuse, because a real man keeps his word when he gives it.

If this is the best research Ms. Munsch can accomplish, maybe she should find a new line of work. Maybe she thinks it will make women feel better that their men have an excuse (however pathetic) to cheat. I think it just shows they didn't marry much of a man.