Mubarak Wants To Make Me Rich (Not)

I'm so lucky! Out of the billions of people worldwide with computers, Egyptian ex-dictator Hosni Mubarak has picked me to send his ill-gotten gains to. Of course, it's just another fraudulent spam e-mail. Like you, I get several of these every day (from people who claim they want to make me rich but really just want to steal from me). I had to admit this one was especially creative though -- claiming to be from the ex-dictator himself. For your amusement I share the e-mail:

Attn; My Noble Fellow 

 It will indeed be a pleasure to get associated with a good person of nobility like you. With this letter, I am making an appeal for your kindest attention. I only have limited access to communication so I will address straight to the point. 

 This is Muhammad Hosni Sayyid Mubarak, deposed President of Egypt, I was allegedly deposed and forced to step down by the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces after the Egyptians protestsfor faster political reforms and demanded that I and my officials in my administration be forced to step down for political corruption, prompting the cabinet to look into reviving a law drafted after the 1952 revolution that overthrew the monarchy.I would have called you on phone, but because the Egyptian Security Networking with Armed Forces is taping and monitoring myofficials’phone numbers, so it is no longer safe for me to call you which is why I think it is safe to send you this mail. I am placed under surveillance and still on detention and trials with my ex-Interior Minister Habib al-Adly, and six more senior ministry officials including my two sons. 

 However my main point of contacting you is to seek your sincere suggestion and guideline to move some allocatedfunds from my offshore accounts toyour country. Now I amcurrently incapacitated and suffering partial stroke and extremely worried over the political crisis which I cannot endure the ongoing catastrophe here, and please because of my position in the government now, I do not need to tell you of the absolute confidentiality which we both must have to observe as you are to help me in investing the funds in your country as my tycoon business representative.Most of my private assets, bank accounts, my portfolio is being seized and confiscated by the Supreme Council, adding to that, the next session of my court trial is scheduled for September 5, that is why I decided to contact you now, though we are still going to court but the environment is good now to handle the transaction very safely before the specific date. 

 From the brief explanation of my present predicament which has befallen me now, you will understand my catastrophe with the Egyptian government now.I thank you very much for taking time to go through my mail, and please if you are sure you are truly capable to handle this transaction,revert back to me immediately. 

 I look forward to hearing from you. 

 Sincerely 

Hosni Mubarak 

Cairo, Egypt.

I now look forward to hearing from Gadhafi with a similar offer!