No Women

(The image above is from the website kidzworld.com.)

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report)—Republican lawmakers in the Texas State Senate are proposing a precedent-setting new bill that would make it illegal for women to live in the state.

Senator Harland Dorrinson, one of the many pro-life lawmakers backing the woman ban, crafted his bill after witnessing Senator Wendy Davis filibuster an anti-abortion bill last month.

“That was our moment to say, ‘Enough is enough,’ ” he said. “This comes down to a choice between life and women, and we choose life.”

Senator Dorrinson said his bill would call for a twenty-foot woman-proof fence to be constructed along the borders of the state.

“Women are great at talking, but not at climbing,” he observed.

But another G.O.P. state senator, Cal Jamson, believes that the total ban on women goes “too far” and is proposing a less draconian bill that would allow some women to remain in the state as guest workers.

“Texas needs women to cook, clean, and cheerlead,” he said. “If they show that they can do those things and stay out of politics, there could be a pathway to citizenship.”

The above post is, of course, just some satirical political humor from the great Andy Borowitz at The Borowitz Report. But like all humor, it is funny only because there is more than a grain of truth in it. Texas Republican leaders have been waging a war on women. They claim it is biblical, and they are just trying to protect women, but you don't protect someone by taking away their rights. I am really starting to believe that this is nothing more than a defense of patriarchy, and if it wasn't for cooking, cleaning, cheerleading, and an occasional sexual encounter (missionary-style only), then Republicans would have no use for women at all.