The White House Correspondents' Dinner was held on Saturday night. For the second year in a row, Donald Trump skipped it. Other presidents have attended, taken the barbs from speakers, and then gave some of their own. It's a yearly occasion where presidents, journalists, and politicians show they can take a joke.
Unfortunately, Trump's narcissistic personality won't allow him to take a joke (even when given the opportunity to shoot back). He can't stand to be criticized, even when everybody knows it is a joke.
But Trump doesn't seem to be the only one that can't take a joke. The comedian delivering the main routine this year was Michelle Wolf (pictured). She took shots at Trump, his family and members of his administration, Democrats and Republicans, and journalists. Some of her jokes (and language) were a bit raunchy, but I thought she was very funny.
However, listening to the cable news pundits after the affair, you would have thought she spent the hour killing babies. A lot of journalists and politicians seemed to believe her jokes were inappropriate and over the top. I've never seen so many think-skinned people!
These people need to learn how to take a joke (even a bad one they may not like). Frankly, I think if politicians and journalists get upset over a few jokes, then they're in the wrong business.
Here are some of the jokes they considered to be too harsh and offensive:
On Sarah Huckabee Sanders:
“I have to say I’m a little star-struck. I love you as Aunt Lydia in ‘The Handmaid’s Tale.‘ Mike Pence, if you haven’t seen it, you would love it.
“Every time Sarah steps up to the podium, I get excited, because I’m not really sure what we’re going to get. You know, a press briefing, a bunch of lies or divided into softball teams. ‘It’s shirts and skins, and this time don’t be such a little bitch, Jim Acosta!‘”
“I actually really like Sarah. I think she’s very resourceful. She burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smoky eye. Like maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.”
“And I’m never really sure what to call Sarah Huckabee Sanders, you know? Is it Sarah Sanders, is it Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is it Cousin Huckabee, is it Auntie Huckabee Sanders? What’s Uncle Tom but for white women who disappoint other white women? Oh, I know. Aunt Coulter.”
“She has the perfect last name for what she does, Conway ... You guys have got to stop putting Kellyanne on your shows. All she does is lie. If you don’t give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie. It’s like that old saying, if a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree? I’m not suggesting she gets hurt. Just stuck. Stuck under a tree.”
On Ivanka Trump:
“There’s also, of course, Ivanka. She was supposed to be an advocate for women, but it turns out she’s about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons. She’s done nothing to satisfy women. So, I guess like father, like daughter.”
On the White House correspondents’ dinner:
“This is long. This has been long.”
On being 32 years old:
“10 years too young to host this event and 20 years too old for Roy Moore.”
On being a woman:
“It’s 2018 and I’m a woman so you cannot shut me up. Unless you have Michael Cohen wire me $130,000.”
On the media:
“I know there’s a lot of people that want me to talk about Russia and Putin and collusion, but I’m not gonna do that, because there’s also a lot of liberal media here and I’ve never really wanted to know what any of you look like when you orgasm.”
On Trump missing the dinner:
“Of course, Trump isn’t here, if you haven’t noticed. He’s not here. And I know, I know, I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the president of the United States is the one pussy you’re not allowed to grab.”
On Trump’s wealth:
“People call Trump names all the time. And look, I could call Trump a racist or a misogynist or xenophobic or unstable or incompetent or impotent. But he’s heard all of those and he doesn’t care. So tonight, I’m going to try to make fun of the president in a new way, in a way that I think will really get him. Mr. President: I don’t think you’re very rich. Like I think you might be rich in Idaho, but in New York you’re doing fine.”
On euphemisms:
“(Trump) loves white nationalists, which is a weird term for a Nazi. Calling a Nazi a white nationalist is like calling a pedophile a ‘kid friend.‘ Or Harvey Weinstein a ‘ladies man.‘ Which isn’t really fair. He also likes plants.”
On the vice president:
“Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn’t gay.”
On Democrats:
“Democrats are harder to make fun of because you guys don’t do anything. People think you might flip the House and Senate this November, but you guys always find a way to mess it up. You’re somehow going to lose by 12 points to a guy named Jeff Pedophile Nazi Doctor.”
On the Trump administration:
“I did have a lot of jokes about cabinet members. But I had to scrap all of those because everyone has been fired. You guys are going through Cabinet members quicker than Starbucks throws out black people.”
On Mitch McConnell:
“Mitch McConnell isn’t here tonight. He had a prior engagement. He’s finally getting his neck circumcised. Mazel.”
On CNN:
“The most useful information on CNN is when Anthony Bourdain tells me where to eat noodles.”
On Fox News:
“Fox News is here. So you know what that means, ladies. Cover your drinks. Seriously. People want me to make fun of Sean Hannity tonight, but I cannot do that. This dinner is for journalists.”
On MSNBC:
“I watch ‘Morning Joe’ every morning. We now know Mika and Joe are engaged. Congratulations, you guys. It’s like when a #MeToo works out.”
On Megyn Kelly:
“What would I do without Megyn Kelly? Probably be more proud of women. Megyn Kelly got paid $23 million by NBC. Then NBC didn’t let Megyn go to the Winter Olympics. Why not? She’s so white, cold and expensive, she might as well be the Winter Olympics. And by the way, Megyn, Santa is black. The weird old guy going through your chimney was Bill O’Reilly.”
On newspapers:
“I’m not going to go after print media tonight because it’s illegal to attack an endangered species.”
On the media:
“You guys are obsessed with Trump. Did you use to date him? Because you pretend like you hate him, but I think you love him. I think what no one in this room wants to admit is that Trump has helped all of you. He couldn’t sell steaks or vodka or water or college or ties or Eric. But he has helped you. He’s helped you sell your papers and your books and your TV. You helped create this monster and now you’re profiting off of him. And if you’re going to profit off of Trump, you should at least give him some money because he doesn’t have any.”
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