Donald Trump Is A Math Dunce

The following post is by Andy Borowitz at The Borowitz Report:

Donald Trump's firing of Erika McEntarfer, the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics, has been widely seen as a tantrum caused by disastrous job numbers. That’s true, up to a point, but I think his motivation went a good deal deeper. 

You see, Trump hates the very concept of numbers. Why? Because he sucks at math. Brutally.

In fact, math might be his worst school subject, and that includes geography (he thinks there is an African country called Nambia) and history (he thinks the British had airports during the Revolutionary War).

Since Trump has spent over half a century in the business world, you might expect him to be good with numbers; but since he had to file for bankruptcy six times, maybe not.

His staggering math stupidity revealed itself in worrisome fashion during an appearance in 2006 with Ivanka and Don Jr. on Howard Stern’s radio show. After asking the younger Don whether he had attended Wharton, Stern issued this follow-up: “What’s seventeen times six?”

Stumped by this brainteaser, Don Jr. guessed 96 and 94, both incorrect. With Ivanka offering her brother no lifeline, it fell to Dad to save the day. He confidently answered “Eleven-twelve,” meaning 1,112. He was off by a mere 1,010. The correct answer is 102.

You read that right: when it comes to math, Trump is even stupider than Don Jr. But as Little Don’s former fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, would say, “THE WORST IS YET TO COME.”

After boasting, in 2020, “I know South Korea better than anybody,” Trump declared that Seoul had a population of 38 million, overshooting the correct answer by 28 million. His biggest math mistake, though, was one he made in his first budget, in 2017. That goof, which wasn’t exactly a rounding error, totaled $2 trillion.

In his second term in office, his math skills appear to have deteriorated—if such a thing is possible.

Speaking to members of Congress last month, Trump boasted, “This is something that nobody else can do. We’re gonna get the drug prices down. Not 30 or 40% which would be great, not 50 or 60, no. We’re gonna get ‘em down 1,000%, 600%, 500%, 1,500%.”

That is, in fact, something that nobody else can do—because it’s mathematically impossible. Let’s do a little calculation, shall we?

The price of a month’s worth of Ozempic is about $1000. 1500% of that would be $15,000. So if Trump reduced the cost by that amount, the makers of Ozempic would have to pay the customer $14,000.

No wonder Trump fired the Labor Statistics boss: math makes his head hurt. Molly Ivins's quote about Dan Quayle applies equally well to Donald Trump: “If you put that man’s brain in a bumblebee, it would fly backwards.”

This report was adapted from my book, Profiles in Ignorance: How America’s Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber.