"Mocking Melania Trump's Documentary Is An Act Of Patriotism"

Melania Trump's movie is in theaters now, and it looks like it's going to be a huge dud. I found this post by Rex Huppke (in USA Today) to be humorous (and true), and thought you might like it: 

Like most Americans, I’m over-the-moon excited to not see “Melania,” an unrequested documentary about first lady Melania Trump that was produced by first lady Melania Trump and stars first lady Melania Trump.

Did I mention it’s called “Melania”? A better title might have been “A Turducken of Narcissism,” but that’s splitting hairs.

The documentary opens Jan. 30 in an almost hilarious number of theatersnationwide. Amazon MGM Studios paid the first lady’s production company a whopping $40 million for the rights to the film and has shelled out an additional $35 million promoting the nearly two-hour celebration of meh. I'm sure that investment has nothing to do with a huge corporation trying to curry favor with an administration helmed by the most attention-thirsty political family in history. Total coincidence.

Setting aside Amazon’s intentions, the release of this unprecedented bit of first-lady puffery in a moment when America is in absolute chaos – with horrific immigrant roundups happening daily and masked federal agents gunning down U.S. citizens – provides a convenient chance for patriotic mockery.

And there is plenty to mock, none of which requires you to shell out money to see whatever bloviating bilge Amazon is foisting on the American public.

For starters, there’s the question of why. Why do we need this documentary? Who asked for it, aside from the film’s namesake? And who cares?

Melania Trump has been a largely invisible figure in both Trump administrations and is rarely seen in the company of her husband, perhaps the most relatable thing about her. Her approval ratings are low compared with first ladies throughout history. In fact, she is consistently ranked the least popular.

And as the wife of the world’s biggest bully, she made, without a whiff of irony, an anti-bullying campaign her signature first-term initiative, but “Be Best” was an inconsequential flop.

To be the subject of a documentary, one would think you’d have to accomplish something beyond being a complicit grifter in two of the most cruel, dishonest and dangerous presidential terms in American history.

That might be why the first lady had to bring in Brett Ratner, a director who was run out of Hollywood over sexual assault allegations, to make the film. Given President Donald Trump’s sordid past and the many allegations he has faced, Ratner seems like a real cherry-on-the-sundae pick.

USA TODAY asked Jeff Bock, senior media analyst for Exhibitor Relations, if “Melania” would mark a comeback for Ratner.

“I don't think so,” Bock said. “I think it's the only job he could get.”

Ouch.

Assuming this new documentary flops, as predicted – and even if it doesn’t – we have a patriotic duty to make fun of it and the film’s subject.

Trump lied and continues to lie about the results of the 2020 presidential election, and he fomented an attack on the U.S. Capitol then pardoned all the convicted attackers. Melania remained silent.

Trump has put lawmakers and other American citizens at risk with myriad dishonest and wildly inflammatory social media posts and public comments. Melania has remained silent.

Trump has separated migrant children from their parents, bombed fishing boats at sea under specious claims that they are carrying drugs and spouted racist lies about Haitian immigrants, Somali immigrants, Mexican immigrants and Venezuelan immigrants. And Melania, herself an immigrant, has remained silent.

In response to the killing of Alex Pretti at the hands of federal agents in Minneapolis, Melania Trump offered a tepid call for peace on Fox News, putting the onus entirely on the protesters: “I'm against the violence. So, please, if you protest, protest in peace. We need to unify in these times.”

The “we” in that statement means anyone who opposes her husband’s violent overreach. WE have to maintain the peace. As if the first lady is doing all she possibly can to keep things cool on her side.

You couldn’t pay me enough to see “Melania,” unlike Melania, who apparently can be paid $40 million to film a celebration of herself. If I wanted to watch someone inconsequential doing nothing for two hours, I could make popcorn at home and stare at myself in the mirror.

People who’ve done nothing to deserve the power they have certainly don’t deserve to make movies about how inspiring they are. And people who would do such a thing tend to viscerally hate being made fun of.

So, with that, you know what to do. This weekend, a film nobody wanted will be seen by a relative handful of lackeys and MAGA diehards while Amazon eats its $40 million investment in ... whatever.

Let laughter fill the air.